All the Colors of the Dark
by Chris Whitaker
Contents
Chapter 200
Overview
As Norma lies near death in the ICU, Charlotte blames herself for the heart attack and refuses to leave, deepening the family's grief. Saint is called in alone to say goodbye and uses the moment to reckon with Norma's lifelong kindness, Joseph's past survival, and Saint's own fear that Saint has failed the woman who shaped Saint's moral life. The chapter turns the story inward, making Norma's impending loss a defining emotional reckoning for Saint and Charlotte.
Summary
In the ICU that night, Charlotte refuses to leave Norma's side. Charlotte is overwhelmed by guilt and believes Charlotte's own actions caused Norma's heart attack, even though Saint tries to reassure Charlotte by pointing to Norma's age, family history, and long habits of excess. Charlotte withdraws from Saint, curls up on a bench, and stares numbly at the television while Sammy and Mrs. Meyer keep watch nearby.
Saint recognizes the hospital room as a place tied to other moments of life and death in her past. A little after three in the morning, an older nurse comes for Saint. From the nurse's expression, Saint understands that Norma is nearing the end, and Saint is taken in alone even though Saint does not feel ready.
Beside Norma's bed, Saint sits with the sound of the machines that are breathing for Norma and tracking a heart that is fading. Seeing Norma so frail forces Saint to measure the distance between memory and the present. Saint remembers Norma holding Saint's hand as a child, guiding Saint across the street, hearing the bees, and walking with Saint to graduation, and Saint realizes that now Saint must be the one to hold Norma's hand.
Saint speaks softly to Norma, confessing old fears and grief. Saint recalls promising God that if Joseph were spared, Saint would live decently and kindly, and Saint admits that Norma taught Saint what goodness looked like. As Saint kisses Norma's cheek and cries, Saint apologizes for failing Norma, calls Norma the best of the family, and mourns how people cling to bad memories while losing hold of the good. Saint longs for one more ordinary moment with Norma, like going for ice cream at Lacey's, but understands that this goodbye may be the last.
Who Appears
- SaintSits with dying Norma, reflects on her grandmother's influence, and offers a grief-stricken apology and farewell.
- NormaSaint's grandmother, lying near death in the ICU after her heart attack.
- CharlotteKeeps vigil in the ICU and blames herself for Norma's heart attack.
- SammyWaits quietly in the ICU with the family, watching over Mrs. Meyer.
- Mrs. MeyerSits beside Sammy in the ICU during the family's vigil.
- NurseGently summons Saint in the early morning to see Norma alone.