Dungeon Crawler Carl
by Matt Dinniman
Contents
Chapter 34
Overview
In the aftermath of Minge’s death, Damascus Steel forces Carl to use a Meat Shields coupon to hire the Penis Parade dancers as mercenaries, saving them from being reassigned when the Desperado is shut down and “restructured.” Damascus reveals Astrid and the Night Wyrm are his parents and hints at a much larger population of non-generated “naturals” hidden among NPCs. As the club closes and the party withdraws, Donut’s new totems and the growing stakes of Faction Wars push Carl toward Odette’s while Katia’s condition visibly worsens.
Summary
After killing the demon Minge, Carl urges Katia and Samantha to leave the Desperado Club before the vorpals finish feeding and before Damascus Steel’s demon-class presence draws more danger. Damascus stops Carl and insists Carl must take the Penis Parade dancers with him, warning that the club will be “remodeled,” management will change, and the dancers will be reassigned to the brutal Larracos level or worse.
Under pressure and amid cryptic references to “mother” and “him,” Katia pieces together the implication: Astrid was Damascus Steel’s mother, and the Night Wyrm is tied to them as family. Damascus confirms Astrid and the Night Wyrm are his parents, but says he and Anaconda were never crawlers; he also claims there are thousands like them and that he has already been warned not to talk. Damascus pushes Carl to use Donut’s 100,000-gold Meat Shields coupon to hire the entire crew for a two-floor contract so they can leave with Carl’s party.
Rosemarie, the hidden manager of a Meat Shields location on the top floor, opens the shop interface and processes the deal. Carl successfully hires thirteen male strippers plus Doctor Bones (the skeleton DJ) and Bucket Boy; the contract transfers them directly into Carl and Donut’s guild barracks. Damascus refuses to go with them, choosing instead to confront the Night Wyrm, and Anaconda goes with Damascus despite others trying to join.
A system warning announces the Desperado Club is temporarily closed and gives Carl fifteen minutes to exit. Carl, Katia, and Samantha wait near the hallway overlook, noting blood on the dance floor and missing details that suggest something dangerous reached the upper level. Carl messages Donut, who is ecstatic about the new mercenaries; Donut also reports Mordecai is angry about the club’s destruction and that Donut has finalized several Faction Wars rule votes.
As they prepare to leave for Odette’s, Carl learns Donut has adjusted the totem deck by combining and permanently “glow-upping” two problematic cards, adding Jola (from Katia) and a new combo totem while keeping Shi Maria for survival. Carl notices Katia’s worsening tremor and exhaustion and then shares a theory: Astrid, the Night Wyrm, and their sons may be long-term “natural” people trapped or contracted into the dungeon like bopcas, possibly with altered rights and memories, and the Night Wyrm may have engineered Astrid’s death for real-world financial gain.
Who Appears
- CarlNavigates the Desperado aftermath, hires mercenaries, and theorizes about “natural” NPC origins.
- Damascus SteelIfrit dancer; pressures Carl to hire the crew and reveals Astrid and the Night Wyrm are his parents.
- KatiaHelps interpret Damascus’s revelations; shows worsening withdrawal symptoms and urges leaving safely.
- DonutCelebrates new mercenaries; updates Carl on totem changes and Faction Wars rule votes.
- RosemarieHidden Meat Shields manager; approves the mercenary hiring transaction using Carl’s coupon.
- SamanthaHysterical after the breach; lingers at the hole, then accompanies Carl and Katia out.
- AnacondaQuarter-naga dancer; Damascus’s brother who follows him to confront the Night Wyrm.
- The Night WyrmImplied husband of Astrid and father of Damascus; target of Damascus’s planned revenge.
- MordecaiOff-screen; angry about the club’s destruction and referenced regarding “natural” memory legality.
- Doctor BonesSkeleton DJ; among the hired Penis Parade mercenaries transferred into the guild barracks.
- Bucket BoyCrocodilian kid; hired as part of the mercenary group from the Penis Parade.
- Shi MariaDangerous totem kept in the deck as a calculated risk for upcoming survival needs.
- JolaMythic Icelandic totem added to the active deck; Donut warns it’s problematic around children.
- Crawler OssieQuoted in a note raising suspicions about NPC origins and reused dungeon “canvas.”
- HerotAuthor of the Worn Path Method essay referenced as context for Ossie’s note.