Dungeon Crawler Carl
by Matt Dinniman
Contents
Chapter 22
Overview
Juice Box interrupts the warlord meeting, declares NPCs should be their own protected team, and forces Carl to push a vote for full NPC team status with voting rights. The meeting collapses into violence as a representative explodes and Prince Stalwart is assassinated, prompting Rishi to hint at brutal retaliation if Juice Box doesn’t accept limits. Later, Carl and Donut regroup at the Desperado Club, begin planning Astrid’s assassination with Katia, and gain a unique level-140 totem card: HeyZoos, “Uzi Jesus.”
Summary
At the warlord meeting, the changeling Juice Box appears and taunts Prince Stalwart, then reports she has been rallying NPCs and tracking the teams’ movements. Declaring herself “her own team,” Juice Box demands a new rule: the NPCs must become a protected, regenerating team with full voting rights. Carl, partly for strategic value and partly to anger the sponsors, formally proposes a tenth team for NPCs, and the agenda system opens voting.
The room destabilizes immediately. Juice Box triggers a pus detonator and vanishes; several leaders flee, and a nearby blob representative explodes, ending that feed. Moments later, Prince Stalwart is assassinated by a sizzling magical arrow to the eye, and his feed shuts off. With most participants gone, Cascadia ends the meeting and promises to reconvene after regeneration, while Rishi warns that his sultanate may respond harshly unless Juice Box accepts a lesser compromise (invulnerability and a safe zone for unaffiliated NPCs).
Afterward, Carl and Donut chat with their allies while moving toward the Desperado Club en route to rescuing Samantha. Along the way, Carl and Donut grind mobs and spiders, level up (Carl to 65; Donut to 57), and collect new cards including Hole in the Bag (totem mana drain) and the rare Force Discard. Carl also transcribes material from the Bahamas book into notes and messages, and they locate a saferoom near the Desperado so Mordecai can access the club’s supplies.
Inside the Desperado Club, Carl and Donut reunite with multiple crawlers, including Katia and Louis, and Carl quietly coordinates with Katia about their secret contract: assassinate the assistant manager Astrid and deliver her body to the Guild of Suffering. They agree they must do it before the eighth floor collapses, and they focus first on identifying where and how to lure Astrid into a spot that won’t immediately swarm with guards, referencing a known secret passage in the women’s bathrooms. Katia asks Carl to scout access points while she develops a card-based plan to kill Astrid.
At the table, Carl checks in on the battered group, noting Britney’s severe facial scarring and her new extinction sigil, and Tran’s continued recovery after losing his legs. Florin offers Carl and Donut a powerful card he can’t control: a unique level-140 totem, HeyZoos (“Uzi Jesus”), an undead ranged healer with dangerous abilities. Because Carl and Donut have open squad slots, taking the card automatically adds HeyZoos to their totem squad, strengthening their lineup as Carl prepares to shop, fix Donut’s tiara gem, and then head out to rescue Samantha.
Who Appears
- CarlProposes an NPC tenth team; survives the disrupted meeting; coordinates Astrid assassination planning; accepts a powerful totem card.
- Princess DonutWitnesses meeting chaos; chats with allies; helps regroup at the Desperado; receives the new totem card for the squad.
- Juice BoxSelf-aware changeling who demands NPC team status; detonates an explosive and vanishes after escalating tensions.
- Prince StalwartOrc leader at the meeting; taunted by Juice Box; assassinated by a magical arrow to the eye.
- CascadiaMeeting moderator who ends proceedings after deaths and promises to reschedule following regeneration.
- RishiNaga leader who proposes a limited safe-zone compromise and hints at harsh retaliation against Juice Box.
- Epitome TaggSponsor-side representative who accuses Carl and Juice Box of collusion and rejects the NPC-team idea.
- Luke of the Lemig SortionGoblin territory holder; comments on NPC self-awareness and considers pushing for his faction to evacuate.
- Empress D’NadiaPresent at the meeting; flees after Juice Box’s detonator threat.
- UrkelMexx robot who logs Carl’s proposal and initiates voting on the new action item.
- KatiaPlans with Carl to assassinate Astrid; focuses on access points and a card-based kill strategy.
- LouisCrawler ally contacted in chat and seen at the Desperado table; still grieving recent losses.
- FlorinCrawler who gifts Carl and Donut a unique level-140 totem card he cannot control.
- BritneyScarred crawler at the Desperado; now higher level and marked with an extinction sigil.
- TranQuiet crawler recovering after losing his legs; present with the group at the Desperado.
- Li NaTeam leader who is physically untouchable in the club; present during the reunion.
- HeyZoos (Uzi Jesus)Unique undead ranged healer totem card added to Carl and Donut’s squad; powerful but hard to control.
- MordecaiReferenced as needing a nearby saferoom so he can safely enter the Desperado to buy supplies.
- AstridDesperado assistant manager and deadly bloodlust sprite; Carl and Katia’s secret assassination target.
- SamanthaReferenced objective; Carl and Donut continue traveling to rescue her after the club stop.