Chapter Five: March
Contains spoilersOverview
Two days after Ash Swann’s twenty-sixth birthday, a neatly wrapped parcel arrives for Nina containing Paddy’s old Zippo lighter and a note from Nick Radcliffe. The gift stirs grief and nostalgia in Nina and Ash, prompting brief connection amid their ongoing exhaustion. Afterward, Ash retreats to her room, confronting her stalled life, her father’s death four months earlier, and memories of happier times. The chapter focuses on grief’s persistence and the family’s strained adjustment.
Summary
In early March, Ash returns home from work and finds a smartly packaged box on the doorstep addressed to her mother, Nina. After confirming Nina is aware of it, Ash opens the outer box and discovers a pale pink gift box tied with a teal ribbon. Nina joins her, and together they uncover a scuffed copper Zippo lighter and a note inside a small envelope.
Nina reads the note aloud: it is from Nick Radcliffe, who explains he found the lighter while sorting old boxes. Nick says Paddy left the lighter at his restaurant and later told Nick to keep it, likely linked to an attempt to quit smoking. Nick sends it as a piece of history and includes his email, hoping Nina is coping. The gesture moves Nina; Ash notices tears in Nina’s eyes and asks if Nina will write to thank Nick. Nina agrees, albeit wearily, and remarks on the nostalgic smell of the Zippo.
Ash jokes lightly about Nick before asking to keep the gift box, and Nina consents. Nina, pressed by work, proposes they later light a fire and watch something trivial together, which Ash welcomes. The exchange briefly softens the heaviness in the house.
Alone in her room overlooking the sea at dusk, Ash places the pretty box on her dressing table to use for mementos. She reflects on the relentless passage of time and listens to Nina on another Zoom dealing with staffing at Paddy’s restaurants—responsibilities Nina now bears alongside her own part-time job. Both feel tired, sad, and alone, with Ash marking that it has been four months and eight days since Paddy died.
Ash contrasts her stagnation with her younger brother Arlo’s seemingly unaffected, carefree life in the city—friends, work, nights out, girlfriends, and tattoos. She scrolls through dating apps and travel listings, then reviews photos from the past year, revisiting the miserable Christmas and funeral, and finally landing on an image from a year earlier showing her and Paddy laughing together in the kitchen. Overcome by grief for the life before “the bad things,” Ash lets her phone fall to her chest and cries.
Who Appears
- Ash Swann
daughter of Paddy and Nina; finds the parcel, shares a tender moment with Nina, later reflects on grief and her stalled life.
- Nina Swann
widow of Paddy; receives Paddy’s Zippo from Nick, is moved, juggles running Paddy’s restaurants and her own job.
- Nick Radcliffe
former colleague of Paddy; sends Paddy’s old Zippo with a sympathetic note including his email.
- Paddy Swann
deceased father; present through memory and the returned Zippo lighter.
- Arlo Swann
Ash’s younger brother; absent but described as living a carefree, distant life unaffected by the family’s daily grief.