Chapter 39: Paedyn

Contains spoilers

Overview

Paedyn and Kai, separated by palace scrutiny and Kitt’s watch, carry on an intimate, clandestine exchange of letters. They share grief over Adena, flirtation, and a fraught debate about duty versus escape, culminating in Kai’s unguarded declaration of love and devotion. Paedyn resists saying she loves him outright, replying with guarded affection as their secret bond deepens.

Summary

Exhausted after her trip to Loot, Paedyn received a note slid under her door from Kai. In it, Kai joked about training lazy recruits, hinted that Kitt was trying to separate them, and asked Paedyn to entertain him, signing off as “Your Cocky Bastard.”

Paedyn wrote back, teasing him for the signature and confiding about choosing wedding dress fabric and how it sharpened her grief for Adena. She revealed she had visited the Fort in Loot, met someone who loved Adena too, and said she would have run away with Kai from the poppy field if she could. She urged him to punch an Imperial and bantered about him counting her freckles, signing “Your Pae.”

Kai replied that he was glad she went to the Fort and admitted he worried for her. He suggested they could still flee onto the Shallows and find Astrum if she wished, adding a playful update to the freckles count. Later, when they briefly crossed paths in the corridor, Paedyn slipped him another note in passing touch, telling him his duty bound him to Kitt while hers bound her to marry Kitt, but that they would always have the willow tree; she dared him to get close enough to count her freckles.

That evening, Paedyn dined with King Kitt in the throne room, where they talked idly and tried to repair their bond. She concealed her plan to continue the illicit correspondence afterward. Returning to her room, she found Kai’s ardent reply, in which he vowed he would beg to run away with her, would follow if she left, and would bow if she stayed, declaring that loving her made him matter and that she owned his heart. He ended with a flirtatious promise to “bite” if asked.

Moved but cautious, Paedyn stored his note with the others and attempted to respond. Unable to write “I love you,” she told him he sounded like a poet or a fool and insisted she would not let him ruin himself for her. Kai’s quick final note recalled his earlier words and affirmed, “I want you to be my ruin.”

Who Appears

  • Paedyn Gray
    protagonist; exchanges secret letters with Kai, shares grief over Adena, admits she would have run with Kai, but asserts her duty to marry Kitt; resists explicitly saying she loves him.
  • Kai Azer
    Enforcer; initiates and continues the clandestine correspondence, worries for Paedyn, proposes running away, declares unwavering love and devotion, and reaffirms he wants her to be his ruin.
  • King Kitt
    king and Paedyn’s fiancé; dines with Paedyn as they attempt to mend their relationship; is suspected by Kai of trying to keep Paedyn and Kai apart.
  • Adena
    Paedyn’s deceased friend; discussed as the source of Paedyn’s grief that resurfaces during wedding preparations and the Loot visit.
  • Astrum
    ship referenced by Kai as part of his proposal to flee together.
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