Chapter 32: Cam
Contains spoilersOverview
Cam and Dusty wake up together after reconciling during the snowstorm. They share intimate morning conversation that clarifies their future, especially around Cam’s decision not to have more children. Dusty reassures Cam it is not a deal-breaker and affirms he cannot imagine a life without her.
Summary
In the early morning, Cam wakes in the motel bed with Dusty’s arm around her, recalling that he had insisted she not move to the other bed the night before. They exchange playful affection as Dusty tries to keep them in bed despite the early hour.
Dusty shifts to a serious topic, raising something Cam said the previous night: her stance on having no more children. Cam asks if it is a deal-breaker. Dusty immediately says no, explaining that, as in their youth, he can imagine his life with or without kids, and he wondered if her pregnancy with Riley had changed her view.
Cam explains Riley’s conception and early choices: the pregnancy was unplanned; Gus responded without judgment and supported whatever Cam wanted, which led her to choose to have Riley. She emphasizes she never regretted the decision but had always intended to have only one child.
Cam details her difficult experience with pregnancy and birth—feeling alienated from her body, finding childbirth terrifying, and needing therapy afterward with lingering nightmares—while noting that having Riley made it all worth it. Dusty listens, comforts her, and says her feelings make sense.
Cam apologizes for whether her pregnancy hurt Dusty. Dusty rejects the apology, saying that if their relationship had not ended, Riley would not exist, which would be a shame. He admits it stung when he thought she and Gus were together and lightly jokes about having admired Gus and Brooks when younger.
Cam confirms her stance of no more children and asks again if Dusty is okay with it. Dusty answers yes without hesitation, reiterating that while he can envision life with or without kids, he has never been able to see a life without Cam. He concludes with a firm declaration that he will not let her go again.
Who Appears
- Cam (Cameron Ashwood)
narrator; clarifies she does not want more children, recounts Riley’s conception and her traumatic pregnancy and birth experiences, reaffirms her bond with Dusty.
- Dusty Ryder
co-lead; raises the conversation about future children, supports Cam’s decision, expresses that life without Cam is unimaginable, and commits to not letting her go.
- Gus Wilson
co-parent of Riley; discussed; supported Cam’s choice during the unplanned pregnancy and is affirmed as a good father.
- Riley
Cam and Gus’s daughter; discussed as the outcome of Cam’s choice and the reason Cam values the experience despite trauma.
- Brooks
mentioned; part of the peer group Dusty admired when younger.