Chapter 18: Cam
Contains spoilersOverview
Cam takes Riley to a craft store to buy embroidery floss so Riley can make friendship bracelets as holiday gifts, then they visit a local coffee shop. Their outing prompts Cam to reflect on Riley’s happiness, her parenting hopes, and contrasts with her own upbringing. Cam also recalls Dusty’s supportive family and her past with Dusty, reaffirming her desire to parent differently.
Summary
Cam and Riley shop at the craft store for embroidery thread so Riley can make friendship bracelets for Christmas. Riley chooses green for Gus, rainbow for Teddy, Auntie, and Ada, and yellow for Papa because he misses the sun. When Riley asks about Dusty’s favorite color, Cam immediately answers blue, surprised but accepting that Riley wants to make one for him since he "lives in our backyard."
They walk to The Bean coffee shop on a cold, clear day. Cam senses people still watching her after the recent not-wedding. Riley proposes they split two pastries, confidently places her own order for a vanilla steamer and chocolate cake, and they also get a latte and coffee cake for Cam.
While they eat, Riley talks about her last week of school before break—movies, cookies, ornaments, and lots of coloring. Cam recalls Riley’s rocky adjustment to full-day first grade and how honesty and comfort at home helped Riley express her feelings. Riley notes she likes library time and math, partly because finishing early lets her do other things she enjoys.
Cam privately contrasts Riley’s carefree joy with her own childhood under parents who were present as a pressure rather than a support. She lays out her hopes for Riley to feel loved, be kind and curious, and pursue her own dreams, without being overshadowed by Cam’s expectations.
Cam reflects on Dusty’s parents as the first example she had of engaged parenting. She wonders if, as a teen, she sometimes used Dusty to defy her parents after her mother caught them kissing, whereas Dusty felt like a shield for her. She resolves to raise Riley without needing either a weapon or a shield.
Back in the moment, Cam tells Riley she loves her, and Riley responds with playful confidence. They discuss dishes for the new house, with Riley lobbying for colorful mismatched plates and Cam agreeing to consider pastels. They finish by sharing bites of each pastry and clinking forks in a light, affectionate moment.
Who Appears
- Cam
narrator and mother; reflects on parenting philosophy, her past with Dusty, and how to support Riley.
- Riley
Cam and Gus’s daughter; excited to make friendship bracelets as gifts, discusses school, and shares a warm outing with Cam.
- Gus
Riley’s father; mentioned as recipient of a green bracelet and part of co-parenting context.
- Teddy
Gus’s partner; mentioned as recipient of a rainbow bracelet and Riley’s vocabulary source for “decadent.”
- Ada
mentioned as another recipient of a rainbow bracelet.
- Papa
mentioned as a bracelet recipient who misses summer; noted as “Papa” to Riley.
- Dusty
Cam’s past and current connection; mentioned as living on the property and having blue as a favorite color; prompts Cam’s reflection on their history.
- Cam’s parents
discussed; emotionally distant figures whose disappointment overshadowed support in Cam’s upbringing.
- Dusty’s parents
discussed; examples of present and supportive parenting for Cam.