Rocky 1: Sandwich
by Catherine Newman
Contents
Thursday - 33
Overview
Summary
Floating on noodles in the moonlit pond, Rocky and Willa admire the rippling light patterns, with Willa happily showing off her fluid-dynamics expertise. The mood is intimate and playful as Willa returns to her earlier question, asking whether Rocky wanted more children after having Jamie and her.
Rocky admits she hadn't planned on a third pregnancy but got pregnant anyway. She initially deflects by mentioning the miscarriage, but Willa, doing the math, presses her. Rocky finally confesses that before the miscarriage she had terminated a pregnancy—the big, hard secret she's been carrying. Willa is surprised, assuming her politically pro-choice mother would be at peace with it, but Rocky explains it wasn't emotionally easy for her personally.
A tiny turtle surfacing breaks the tension with screams and laughter. Then Rocky opens up: she was overwhelmed by motherhood, exhausted, consumed by anxiety and preemptive grief over losing her children, unable to imagine adding another. Willa gently suggests it was undiagnosed postpartum depression and tells her mother it wasn't her fault. She swims over and cradles Rocky in the water as Rocky cries, quoting a line from a beloved childhood picture book.
The tender moment shatters when a man clears his throat from the shore. Rocky panics; Willa reassures her it's only Nick. Rocky's stricken "Fuck" and reaction reveal to Willa—who suddenly understands—that Nick has never known about the abortion.
Who Appears
- RockyNarrator who finally discloses her long-held secret abortion and the postpartum depression that drove it.
- WillaRocky's daughter; gently presses for the truth, validates her mother's experience, and cradles her in the water.
- NickRocky's husband; arrives at the pond's edge unexpectedly, his presence revealing he's never known the secret.