Rocky 1: Sandwich
by Catherine Newman
Contents
Thursday - 35
Overview
Summary
Unable to sleep, Rocky scrolls aimlessly on her phone in the middle of the night, jumping between recipes, an alcohol-tracking app, Wikipedia pages on Treblinka and prolonged grief disorder, and a wikiHow article about divorce. She imagines living alone, defiantly deciding she would take the dog, Chicken, with her, and chastises herself for breaking her own heart.
The narrative flashes back to earlier that night. After Rocky and Willa emerged from the pond, Nick told them he'd heard screaming and assumed Rocky had seen a snake. Willa covered for her mother, but the walk back was silent and Nick didn't touch Rocky. He noted pointedly that the pond carries sound.
Later, in bed while Willa was out with Callie and the others slept, Nick gently confronted Rocky. He confirmed that her first pregnancy had been a termination, not a miscarriage as she had told him, and that she had let him believe she was grief-stricken. Rocky insisted her grief had been real and that the second pregnancy truly was a miscarriage.
Nick was more wounded and confused than angry. He pointed out that Rocky had told their daughter what she had hidden from him for nearly twenty years, and recalled her past fury in couples therapy that he didn't know her—when, he said, she had given him nothing to know. Rocky internally blamed him for not wanting to know, but apologized aloud, ashamed. Recognizing she was breaking apart, Nick pulled her into his chest and held her, and despite everything, he still smelled like home.
Who Appears
- RockySleepless narrator scrolling her phone, contemplating divorce, and reckoning with shame after Nick confronts her about the long-hidden abortion.
- NickRocky's husband, who overheard her pond confession; quietly confronts her about the lie, more wounded and confused than angry, and ultimately holds her.
- WillaRocky's daughter who covered for her at the pond and later left to see Callie.