The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook
by Matt Dinniman
Contents
Chapter 14
Overview
Carl spends the chapter turning scattered crawler contacts into an information network, then abandons the group's original plan for boarding the Nightmare Express when he realizes it would be suicidal. His replacement plan nearly kills him, but his Protective Shell wipes out the train's monsters and crew, leaving Carl stranded on the runaway engine.
Inside the cab, Carl learns from Fire Brandy how to stop the boiler from exploding and how to drive the steam train himself. By the end of the chapter, Carl has effectively stolen the Nightmare Express, gained major experience and loot, and acquired a new way to route a steam train back to the trainyard for repairs.
Summary
While waiting at Station 283 for the Nightmare Express to return, Carl watches Donut practice her hole spell and notes that her improved control could let the group clear rooms through walls without opening doors. Carl thinks back on their brief visit to the Desperado Club, where The Sledge pays for a protection spell and Donut uses the Dodge guild's training room. While Donut is inside, Carl realizes his portal-analysis upgrade works only on magical thresholds, not ordinary doors. At the club, Carl also persuades the other crawlers to exchange chat contact information so they can build a broader intelligence network, and afterward he is flooded with questions about the train system.
As the group studies the Nightmare Express, Carl confirms that their original boarding plan is impossible. The train can only be entered at the caboose, which would force the party to crawl across the roofs of dozens of cars while passing open-topped monster cages at high speed. Because Carl's Protective Shell would not cover that route and the risks are too high, he aborts the attempt and improvises a new plan: he and Donut will go into the tunnel, teleport ahead of the train with Puddle Jumper, and let the oncoming train smash through Carl's shield. While they wait in the tunnel, Donut criticizes Carl for pushing Katia into changes without asking her what she wants, and Carl admits Donut has a point.
The plan goes wrong immediately. Donut discovers they have gone too far into the tunnel to cast from the intended spot, so Carl is forced to time the teleport at the last second. The spell works, but the train is moving faster than expected and accelerates instead of stopping after plowing through Carl's Protective Shell. Donut reaches the platform, but Carl is hit by the cowcatcher as he jumps. The impact nearly kills Carl, yet his enhanced constitution, healing, and invulnerable foot keep him alive long enough for him to land on the front of the engine as the train rockets away.
Clinging to the outside of the engine, Carl climbs into the cab and finds both the engineer and a war mage dead, apparently killed by the collision with his shield. Carl tries to slow the train, but his guesswork almost causes the boiler to explode. He then discovers Fire Brandy, a noncombatant demon stoker living inside the furnace, who explains which valves to adjust and teaches Carl how to operate the throttle, brakes, and pressure controls safely. Fire Brandy also tells Carl that a track switch before the next stop can send the train to "Station Repair," which would return it to the trainyard and restore the damaged engine.
After stabilizing the train and learning to drive it at a safer speed, Carl gathers the grotesque Sheol Bricks that fuel the boiler and loots a Steam Engineer's Key and gold from the cab. He then realizes his shield attack killed every monster aboard the train, including three neighborhood bosses, which raises him to level 32 and earns him several reward boxes. Looking back, Carl sees that most monster cars have been stripped into sparking flatbeds, while the engine and front passenger car remain largely intact. Carl messages Donut, asks her to search the track for boss corpses and a route map, and plans to continue to Station 436 before looping back to pick up Donut and Katia.
Who Appears
- CarlOrganizes crawler information sharing, survives a disastrous hijacking attempt, kills the train's monsters, and learns to drive the Nightmare Express.
- DonutPractices her hole spell, helps with the tunnel teleport plan, challenges Carl about Katia, and later searches for corpses and route data.
- Fire BrandyNoncombatant demon stoker inside the boiler who teaches Carl the engine controls and explains how to route the train to repairs.
- KatiaWaits at the platform, warns Carl that his recklessness could get her killed, and watches his near-fatal collision with the train.
- The SledgePays for a protective spell at the Desperado Club and escorts Donut inside.
- BomoHelps keep other club patrons away from Carl while Carl waits and gathers contacts.
- KokiJapanese crawler who discovers a mass-message method that greatly expands Carl's new contact network.