In September, six weeks after leaving California, Xavier described how he had not contacted Samantha per her request but could not stop thinking about her. Everyday life continued at his clinic with coworkers Tina and Maggie, but he felt listless and withdrawn, unable to enjoy usual comforts.

Triggers of memory persisted: sand still in his beach shoes and a shell he had intended for Samantha. He resisted checking Samantha’s social media but relapsed, scrolling to a Murkle’s Mustard post, which briefly amused him before his sadness returned. He debated mailing the shell, texting about Pooter, calling, or even visiting, but recognized that would disrespect her boundary.

At work, Maggie brought him food and checked on him, highlighting how visibly affected he was. Xavier reflected on a photo from his clinic’s grand opening, acknowledging the pride and permanence of what he had built—and how that permanence had helped end his relationship with Samantha.

He laid out the financial reality: nearly a million dollars in loans on a practice that would sell for substantially less, depreciated equipment, and low cash flow preventing him from hiring a replacement. Selling would leave him hundreds of thousands in debt, and bankruptcy would cost him everything, making relocation unrealistic.

Accepting that the breakup was due to logistics rather than lack of feelings, Xavier likened himself to being caught in a riptide—pulled deeper despite resistance. He resolved to overload his schedule or leave town to distract himself, considering volunteering, certifications, or a conference.

The chapter closed with Xavier searching for conferences and, despite himself, specifically looking for options in Southern California, signaling his lingering hope and unresolved attachment to Samantha.