Chapter 12

Contains spoilers

Overview

Scottie and Wilder attend a private counseling session with Sanders at Camp Haven that spirals into an over-the-top argument as they sell their fake marriage troubles. Wilder's embellished application is revealed to have placed them in a sexually themed cabin, intensifying Scottie's discomfort. Their improvised bickering escalates through absurd grievances until Sanders is overwhelmed and ends the session. Back at the cabin, Scottie realizes she vented pain from her real marriage to Matt, grows emotional, and walks out to be alone.

Summary

After a restless night of keeping to her side of the bed and fretting about the erotic cabin decor, Scottie reflects on her sexual insecurity and her ex-husband Matt’s selfishness in bed. She notes Wilder seems unfazed and even amused by the sex-themed environment, which heightens her discomfort. Over breakfast, Scottie and Wilder banter as they walk to Sanders’s office for their first real therapy session at camp, reminding each other to maintain the plan of staged conflict then reconciliation.

Inside Sanders’s simple, distraction-free cabin office, Wilder abruptly challenges Scottie’s polite small talk, insisting they be honest about not enjoying the experience. When Sanders mentions that couples select themed cabins based on their applications, he reveals Wilder’s responses labeled their sex life as “thriving” and “adventurous,” which led to their placement in the red square, erotic cabin. Scottie privately confronts Wilder, who admits he filled the form to “inspire” them, and they return to the session.

Prompted by Sanders, Wilder exaggerates their past intimacy and invents explicit details (sex toy molds, breast pillow, nipple piercings), while Scottie counters and plays along, visibly uncomfortable. The exchange mushrooms into rapid-fire sparring as they hurl increasingly absurd complaints: Velcro ruining expensive socks, missing Tupperware lids, misinterpreted “pads with wings,” Pokémon names, mouthwash spitting, and repeated pressure over nipple piercings. They punctuate the fight with bizarre flourishes (Wilder’s fear of “bologna” like a Beetlejuice trigger) and briefly share lunch with Sanders mid-session.

Their rhythm becomes a comedic volley that circles back to the nipple-piercing theme, culminating in both shouting while Sanders struggles to keep up. Eventually, a frazzled Sanders halts the session, calls it “productive,” and dismisses them to regroup, saying he will be in touch. Wilder is exhilarated by their improvisational chemistry and proud of the full-circle ending; Scottie is horrified at how far the lies went and worries about being judged as prudish and small-nippled.

When Scottie challenges Wilder for “incriminating” her, he teases about being pierced, then praises her performance. This triggers Scottie to realize much of what she railed about during the session actually came from real issues with Matt: his selfishness, lack of support, refusal to help, and shame around her needs. Overwhelmed by resurfacing hurt, Scottie shuts down the conversation, leaves Wilder in the cabin, and walks off alone to process.

Who Appears

  • Scottie Price
    protagonist; struggles with sexual insecurity, performs an improvised argument in therapy, realizes she channeled past-marriage grievances, and leaves to clear her head.
  • Wilder
    Scottie’s fake husband; enjoys the improv conflict, admits to marking their sex life as adventurous on the application, escalates the session with outrageous claims, and feels invigorated by their performance.
  • Sanders Martin
    therapist and Ellison’s husband; conducts the session, reveals the themed-cabin selection came from the application, attempts to manage the escalating argument, and dismisses them to regroup.
  • Matt
    Scottie’s ex-husband; discussed only; his past selfish behavior informs Scottie’s emotional reaction and the grievances she voices.
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