6. 1985 to 1986

Contains spoilers

Overview

In the aftermath of the miscarriage, Elise arrives to care for Lillian and quietly shares her own past loss, creating a fragile bond. The Sundance Gallery falters amid economic downturns and operational setbacks, straining Lillian and Ryan’s marriage as grief and unspoken resentments grow. An impulsive condom-free night leads to an unplanned pregnancy, which terrifies Lillian but progresses healthily, while Ryan prepares joyfully for their daughter. The chapter ends with Ryan building a nursery and Lillian remaining emotionally distant, bracing for potential loss.

Summary

After the miscarriage, Elise visits Lillian unannounced with food, cleans the apartment, and keeps Lillian company while Ryan is at work. Elise notices Ryan’s darker, more chaotic painting and, without comment, continues helping. When Lillian wakes from a nap, Elise gently insists on caring for her and reveals that she, too, lost a pregnancy—alone—the day after fleeing Barton with young Ryan, a secret she never told him. The disclosure both comforts and unsettles Lillian, who keeps silent about her decision never to become pregnant again.

Ryan returns home to find Elise finishing up; both he and Lillian want her to stay, signaling their inability to face each other’s grief. After Elise leaves, the couple is left with food and silence, emblematic of their unspoken pain.

At the gallery, business declines sharply: Lillian’s absence hurts operations, a popular local artist moves away, a new code forces a temporary closure, oil prices crash, and winter slows classes from four to one. A potential lessee inquires about their prime location, but Ryan refuses to consider closing, asserting they will remain, and then avoids Lillian’s gaze. Resentment settles as Ryan clings to the gallery and his hopes for children, while Lillian mourns the lost pregnancy and resists future parenthood.

Evenings at home, Ryan compulsively paints, often eating beside the easel, which spares the couple from forced conversations. Their sex life becomes sporadic and emotionally distant, each condom reminding them of loss. One night, after four regular cycles, Lillian stops Ryan from using a condom, telling him she just had her period, offering him condom-free sex as a concession.

Weeks later, the smell of tilapia triggers Lillian’s nausea, and she fears she is pregnant again. Shaking and tearful, she clings to Ryan, repeating that she cannot lose another. He tries to salvage the burnt fish, calling it “crusted,” as they both grope for ordinary comforts.

Lillian becomes pregnant, reflecting that “no day is a safe day,” and she experiences the early development as perilous. The pregnancy proceeds healthily to thirty-nine weeks. Ryan kisses her stretch marks, assembles a crib, paints a detailed azalea piece, and, with Elise’s crocheted blanket, completes a pink-and-white nursery. Ryan’s hope contrasts with Lillian’s fear; she avoids the room, attends appointments alone, and holds her breath, waiting for loss even as their daughter’s arrival nears.

Who Appears

  • Lillian Bright
    narrator; grieving after a miscarriage, conflicted about motherhood, becomes pregnant again and carries to thirty-nine weeks while remaining emotionally guarded.
  • Ryan Bright
    Lillian’s husband; struggles to communicate grief, refuses to close the gallery despite downturn, paints compulsively, prepares joyfully for their daughter and builds the nursery.
  • Elise
    Ryan’s mother; arrives to care for Lillian, reveals her own past pregnancy loss during the escape from Barton, crochets a baby blanket for the new nursery.
  • Wealthy restaurateur
    potential lessee; asks about leasing the gallery space, which Ryan declines.
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