12. 1980
Contains spoilersOverview
On her relinquished son's sixth birthday in 1980, Lillian traveled to Nashville to tell Zack, the child's father, about their baby. Zack was indifferent, revealing he had moved on to a rising solo career and an engagement. Lillian briefly considered contacting the adoptive family but decided against it, reaffirming her choice to let the child have his life. She returned home resolved to move forward with her current partner, a kind painter.
Summary
Lillian decided to inform Zack about the son they conceived years earlier and arranged to meet him in Nashville on the boy’s sixth birthday. She flew in, reflecting on the past and their shared history, and arrived early at the park Zack chose, where he showed up late and largely unchanged by time.
Lillian told Zack directly about the baby she had given up for adoption, bracing for anger. Instead, Zack reacted with indifference, saying he had moved on; The Blacktoppers had broken up, his solo career was rising, and he was engaged to a powerful producer named Vivian. He asked if anything was required of him, and Lillian said no, feeling both relief and confirmation that her earlier decision to act alone had been right.
Lillian noted that Zack’s name was on the birth certificate and took some solace that at least he now knew the truth, avoiding a future confrontation. Sitting beside a bed of coneflowers, she tried to muster happiness for Zack’s success and future family, even as she felt the distance between their lives.
For the first and only time, Lillian considered trying to find the adoptive family and attend her son’s birthday, imagining the party details and wondering about his happiness. She rejected the idea, deciding that seeing him would be too painful and that not knowing protected the hope she had given him a better life.
Lillian flew home and recommitted emotionally to her present, eager to return to her gentle, “scruffy, soft-hearted” painter, a new relationship that had begun with quiet conversations and baklava and was helping her trust love again.
Who Appears
- Lillian
narrator and mother who relinquished her son; travels to tell Zack about the child and resolves not to contact the adoptive family.
- Zack
former lover and father of Lillian’s son; now a solo musician, engaged to producer Vivian; responds with indifference.
- Vivian
Zack’s fiancée, a high-powered music producer; mentioned, not present.
- Lillian and Zack’s son
relinquished child turning six; contemplated but not contacted.
- The painter
Lillian’s current partner; described as scruffy and soft-hearted; off-page but central to Lillian’s forward-looking choice.