Chapter Twelve
Contains spoilersOverview
The chapter flashes back twenty-five years to Ted’s adolescence with Joar and the young artist who would become C. Jat. It traces the formation of their friendship, Joar’s abuse at home, the artist’s neurodivergence and shame, and Ted’s quiet vows and jealousy. The boys try to push the artist toward a painting competition, but his self-doubt overwhelms him, and Ted silently witnesses him give up on a drawing. The chapter ends with each boy taking on an impossible responsibility for the others as they part for the night.
Summary
The narrative returns to a summer when Ted, Joar, and the artist were fourteen, inseparable during school break and meeting each morning at a crossroads. Ted always arrived early to sit on the grass, and Joar, escaping his violent father, arrived soon after. Their banter included a humorous debate about the “best invention,” where Joar mocked his mother’s answer of pockets, a bit that made the artist and Ted laugh and strengthened their bond.
The boys met the artist each morning and pushed him toward entering a painting competition about the sea, which Joar believed could save him. The artist, exhausted and insecure, struggled to start; his creative process required freedom from pressure. At the pier, Joar’s bruises were visible, breaking the artist’s heart, and Ted later reflected that perhaps that was why it took so long to paint Joar—there weren’t enough colors for his pain.
Backstory reveals Joar’s home life with an alcoholic, violent father and Joar’s protective love for his mother. A parallel thread details the artist’s early life: sensory sensitivities, fear of touch and confined spaces, bullying culminating in being locked in a trunk until Joar freed him on his first preschool day, forging their lifelong loyalty. The artist’s father dismissed him as abnormal, compounding his shame and isolation.
The boys’ origin with Ted is recounted: Joar crashed a bicycle into Ted at their secret pier, knocking both into the water; the artist and Joar rescued Ted, and instant friendship followed. Visiting Ted’s shabby but privileged-seeming house, Joar and the artist discovered Ted’s basement room, which became their refuge. The artist began visiting at night to draw—first heroes and monsters for Ted, later male bodies, sometimes with angel wings—while avoiding Ted’s parents.
Ted’s father had cancer, leaving the house quiet and a bathroom cabinet full of painkillers. Ted noticed the artist quietly stealing small amounts of pills and, as the artist stopped drawing and eating, confided in Joar. Joar responded by entering the artist into the competition and insisting Ted bring cookies each morning to coax him to eat.
One day at the pier, when Joar stepped away, the artist confessed to Ted that he could not meet Joar’s expectations: he lacked paint and skill and was paralyzed by self-doubt. He balled up a drawing and threw it into the sea, a sound Ted would forever hate, and Ted remained silent, a regret that haunted him.
Afterward, Joar returned and, gazing at the horizon, declared that they had to get the artist to paint and win the competition to escape town and be happy, forming a solemn, unspoken pact with Ted. As they walked home, Ted struggled with jealousy over the closeness between Joar and the artist; the chapter closes with their nightly “Tomorrow!” and with each boy silently assuming a crushing duty: Joar to make the artist famous, the artist not to disappoint Joar, and Ted to keep everyone he loved from dying.
Who Appears
- Ted
narrator/central friend; quiet, observant, burdened by a vow to keep loved ones alive; recalls early mornings, jealousy, and witnessing the artist’s despair.
- Joar
Ted’s friend; volatile, funny, fiercely loyal; abused by his alcoholic father; pushes the artist toward the sea painting competition and forms an oath with Ted.
- The artist (C. Jat)
the future C. Jat; neurodivergent, anxious, gifted; pressured to paint for a competition; steals painkillers, throws away a drawing, and depends on Joar’s and Ted’s support.
- Joar’s mother
gentle and loved by Joar; appears in memories; watches TV with Joar when safe.
- Joar’s father
violent, alcoholic; abuses Joar and his mother; catalyst for Joar’s scars and urgency.
- The artist’s father
cold and bitter; criticizes the artist for not being “normal,” deepening the artist’s shame.
- Ted’s father
ill with cancer; his painkillers are stolen in small amounts by the artist; source of the house’s quiet.