Cover of All Fours

All Fours

by Miranda July


Genre
Fiction, Contemporary, Humor and Comedy
Year
2024
Pages
337
Contents

Chapter 13

Overview

The narrator deflects Harris's growing suspicions by claiming she's going through menopause, buying herself more time to grieve Davey in secret. The family unknowingly adopts the spray-painted "CALL ME" chair from the park and a rescue puppy named Smokey, both of which become surreal mirrors of the narrator's emotional state. Her days devolve into compulsive cleaning, obsessive phone calls with Jordi about Davey, and eventually wailing alongside the inconsolable dog in a raw expression of shared abandonment.

Summary

Harris senses something is wrong with the narrator and presses her during a TV show when she starts crying unexpectedly. She nearly confesses, and briefly hopes Harris might confess something himself, but he merely compares her post-trip adjustment to his own returns from recording studios in London. Cornered, the narrator blurts out that she's going through menopause, which immediately softens Harris and ends his interrogation. He offers sympathy, and she channels his comfort toward her real grief over Davey, grateful for the deflection.

After dinner, the family visits the dog park, where Sam fills water bowls for other people's dogs. The narrator snaps her rubber band each time she thinks of Davey, forcing herself to greet dogs instead. On the way home, Sam discovers the pink spray-painted "CALL ME" chair the narrator had placed near the park earlier. Harris decides it's cool and suggests bringing it home. The narrator, stunned by the irony that her family is unknowingly adopting the chair tied to her affair, agrees to place it under the linden tree.

The narrator's days settle into a compulsive cycle of cleaning and masturbating. She purges eleven garbage bags of old clothes, polishes wood, and scrubs doorknobs with boiled settler's dough. An oversized real estate mailer arrives featuring a photo of her own house—with the narrator visible in the window wearing her old pink robe. She realizes the photo was taken by the mysterious telephoto photographer from weeks earlier, solving that minor mystery. She pins the card above her desk in the garage next to her road-trip map and the neighbor's note.

Sam negotiates for a dog, and the family adopts a shaggy rescue mutt named Smokey the Bear from a shelter in Torrance. Smokey quickly breaks his leg and becomes an indoor mess with a cast and cone, but brings joy to Harris and Sam. When they leave the house, Smokey wails inconsolably, and the narrator—instructed by a trainer to model calm—instead screams on the phone with Jordi about whether Davey still thinks about her and masturbates to her. Jordi reassures her and suggests CBD for sleep, while the narrator snaps her rubber band manically. The narrator imagines a future where AI gives dogs speech and Smokey exposes her behavior. Eventually she abandons the trainer's advice, tries to comfort Smokey, and ends up wailing alongside him, singing a mournful sailor's-wife song about a lost "big dick," crying with her mouth hanging open before falling into silent grief while holding the crying dog.

Who Appears

  • The Narrator
    Deflects Harris's suspicions with a menopause lie; spirals through compulsive cleaning, obsessive grief over Davey, and raw emotional breakdowns alongside the new puppy.
  • Harris
    Grows suspicious of the narrator's mood; accepts her menopause explanation with sympathy; adopts the CALL ME chair and champions getting a dog.
  • Sam
    The narrator's young child who loves dogs, discovers the CALL ME chair, negotiates for a puppy, and names the rescue dog Smokey the Bear.
  • Jordi
    The narrator's friend and confidante, reassuring her over the phone that Davey was transformed by their relationship; suggests CBD for sleep.
  • Davey
    The narrator's former lover, absent but omnipresent in her obsessive thoughts, rubber-band snapping, and desperate phone conversations with Jordi.
  • Smokey the Bear
    Newly adopted shaggy rescue puppy who breaks his leg and wails when Harris and Sam leave; becomes a mirror for the narrator's grief.
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