The chapter opens with vignettes showing how parents, bosses, and friends push their beliefs about childbearing. The author explains that such pressure resonates because it triggers internal fears about selfishness, loss, and regret. The aim is not to banish loved ones but to understand motives, manage reactions, and even use pressure to clarify one’s own values.

A core task is individuation from parents: relating as an adult without rebelling, fleeing, or complying. Examples show reactive patterns (Todd shouting at his mother’s “selfish” jab) and retaliatory impulses (Alan delaying pregnancy to spite parents). A contrasting case—David and Marilyn—illustrates honest dialogue that acknowledged parental disappointment yet strengthened boundaries and improved relationships.

The chapter then examines family-of-origin influences: unhappy childhoods, fear of “turning into” one’s parents, and projecting parental failures onto partners. Lois’s realization about perfectionism and martyrdom models breaking intergenerational patterns, while Lynn’s pregnancy triggers Fred’s fear that she will resemble his unhappy mother; open discussion and planning are prescribed to counter projection.

Attention shifts to peer and cultural pressure. The author catalogs stereotypes and “games” parents and childfree friends play—“You’ll be sorry,” “Ha! We knew it,” “Do me a favor,” and “We have more fun than you”—linking them to ambivalence, jealousy, and cognitive dissonance. She notes gendered double standards that judge childfree women more harshly and cautions against labeling any choice as mere conformity.

Finally, a toolkit of assertiveness techniques is offered: a “Pressure Victim’s Bill of Rights,” dodging, humor, bouncing back amateur analysis, asking “Why does it matter to you?,” cultivating awareness, concise I-focused explanations, devil’s-advocate reframing, refusing to engage, and enlisting allies. The chapter closes by noting pressure typically wanes over time and suggests selective disclosure and support networks while decisions solidify.