Chapter Eighteen

Contains spoilers

Summary

  • The protagonist wakes up with a severe hangover and misses the planned noon visit to her father's birthday celebration, intending to rest a short while longer.
  • She wakes again at 14:47 to a call from her mother, stating her father has died, causing her to feel guilty for not being there.
  • She reacts in disbelief and tries to deny the truth, but her mother confirms the devastating news.
  • Filled with guilt and grief, she lashes out at her flatmates, blaming one of them for convincing her to stay out late the night before.
  • The protagonist discards the decoration materials for her father's birthday cake in anger.
  • When confronted with her actions, she has a difficult interaction with Jo, who defends herself by saying she didn't force the protagonist's decisions.
  • After her friends leave, the protagonist is contacted by her brother James, who urges her to find company, and by her mother, who gives more details about her father's passing.
  • The protagonist indulges in sugar-laden food, recalling past moments shared with her father.
  • Ben, the protagonist's companion, comes over, initially unaware of her father's death; a routine interaction turns hollow for the protagonist.
  • After a physical encounter that leaves her feeling empty, she tells Ben about her father's death, leading to Ben supporting her through her grief.
  • Ben demonstrates kindness by staying with the protagonist and organizing breakfast, though the protagonist feels disconnected from everything, including food.
  • She communicates with her workplace and her friend Cam, informing them and processing her father's death.
  • The protagonist rejects the offer to stay with Ben, opting to have her friend Nia stay with her instead while her flatmates are away.
  • Nia's arrival provides comfort to the protagonist, who is grateful for her friend's presence.
  • The protagonist attempts to pray but struggles with what to say now that her father has passed.
  • Despite her deep loss and the events of the day, she has not cried and wonders about her emotional state before falling asleep with Nia by her side.
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