Long Island Compromise
by Taffy Brodesser-Akner
Contents
Your Future Now
Overview
Summary
One morning in late September a few years ago, Phyllis Fletcher dies in her living room of an autoimmune illness, surrounded by Carl, Marjorie, Ruth, and a hostile hospice worker. Ruth manages the aftermath, calling Nathan, Jenny, and the rabbi, then repeatedly trying to reach her middle child, Beamer, in Los Angeles.
Beamer, forty-two, is at his standing Tuesday morning appointment in room 816 of the Radisson Airport Hotel, hog-tied and being degraded by two sex workers, Lady and a new woman in a red wig. He has taken six pills with vodka and is chasing the blackout he depends on to function in his ordinary life. He ignores his mother's repeated calls.
The drugs aren't working. Beamer's mind keeps spiraling: his agent hasn't returned his calls in days, suggesting his screenwriting career—anchored to a fourth installment of the action film he wrote two decades earlier—is dying. His wife Noelle, a repressed Presbyterian, has been giving him a silent treatment he interprets as terrorism, and he becomes convinced she is going to leave him. He recalls coming home the previous night to a wife pretending to sleep, and that morning, her sneaking out before he came downstairs. He thinks of his children Liesl and Wolfie, his housekeeper Ludmilla, his nanny Paulette, his fractured partnership with former writing partner Charlie Messinger, and the couples therapy that isn't working.
Beamer struggles to focus on the degradation he engineered—licking the carpet, having an acrylic-nailed finger inserted in him—because his anxieties keep intruding. He reflects on his appetites, his Chimera Syndrome eyes, and his lifelong inability to be satisfied. As Lady commands him to lick toes, the hotel room door opens. A man in gray corduroys and running shoes enters. Beamer recognizes him as Drexel Abraham, who tells him, "You're coming with me, Bernard," and produces a burlap bag for his head. At that moment Beamer finally ejaculates and collapses into a blackout.
Who Appears
- Beamer (Bernard) FletcherCarl and Ruth's middle child, a forty-two-year-old Hollywood screenwriter chasing blackouts via drugs and sex workers; spiraling over career and marriage.
- Phyllis FletcherCarl's domineering mother; dies of autoimmune illness in her living room at the chapter's opening, aged ninety-three or eighty-eight.
- Ruth FletcherCarl's wife and Beamer's mother; manages Phyllis's death, making calls to children and the rabbi.
- Carl FletcherPhyllis's son, present at her deathbed; led to the kitchen by Ruth afterward.
- Drexel AbrahamFormer family employee and Carl's original kidnapper; reappears at the Radisson to abduct Beamer with a burlap bag.
- LadyBeamer's regular sex worker for years, who participates in his weekly degradation rituals at the Radisson.
- Red-wigged womanNew companion Lady brings to the appointment; missing a front tooth, which Beamer finds intensely arousing.
- Noelle FletcherBeamer's WASPy Presbyterian wife of seven years; emotionally withdrawn, and Beamer fears she is preparing to leave him.
- Liesl FletcherBeamer and Noelle's seven-year-old daughter, dressed like a Parisian doll, speaking in pageant-contestant affectations.
- Wolfie FletcherBeamer's four-year-old son, who pretends to be various animals.
- LudmillaThe Fletchers' housekeeper, stoically navigating Noelle's moods.
- PauletteThe French nanny, who dresses the children fashionably.
- Charlie MessingerBeamer's former writing partner, whose painful split still haunts him; recommended their couples therapist.
- Marjorie FletcherCarl's sister, present at Phyllis's deathbed.