After leaving the registrar’s office, Cora felt she had broken something by complying with Gordon’s instruction about the baby’s name. Exhausted and repulsed by breastfeeding, she detached emotionally from the newborn and let irritation fall on him. When she asked Gordon for money for formula while they brushed their teeth, Gordon lectured her about breastfeeding’s lifelong benefits, stuffed a lotion pad into her mouth, and forbade formula, ending any discussion.

Cora recalled meeting Gordon years earlier, when he was attentive and kind, and how their relationship shifted into control and aggression, marked by moments like him stopping her from speaking at dinner and throwing a pear. Returning to the present, Gordon spoke about humanitarian work, while Cora, numb since the registrar visit, could not engage. At night he scolded her for disturbing his sleep and criticized her movement, while Cora nursed the baby, imagining escape and recognizing her own unwillingness to enact violence.

A midwife later administered a postnatal depression questionnaire; Cora falsely gave upbeat answers. Earlier that day Gordon had dismissed involving midwives and suggested he could directly arrange medication, then ordered her to shower. Cora observed herself moving through the days in dissociation, feeling briefly grounded only with Maia, who told Cora she smelled like “Mum,” which momentarily pulled Cora toward connection.

Despite intentions to bond, Cora remained blanketed by dullness. One day she ignored the baby’s cries to complete chores with the radio masking the sound. Gordon unexpectedly came home, found the baby sick and crying, called Cora an unfit mother, blocked her attempts to soothe the child, held the baby out of reach, and threatened to take both children away permanently if it happened again. He then ordered her to feed the baby and threw away her radio, which had sentimental value from her mother.

For a few days, Cora tried to reconnect, but the baby seemed to turn away. She told Gordon she thought the baby was not getting milk; the next day he provided bottles and formula without comment. Instead of relief, the bottles became symbols of her perceived failure and the earlier incident, deepening her self-loathing and sense that the baby was no longer comforted by her.

By six months, Mehri regularly invited Maia to dinner after swimming to help Cora, and Cora accepted. Mehri showed affection for the baby and, meeting Cora by chance, gently said Cora could talk to her if needed. Cora suspected Maia might have spoken to Mehri, considered changing pickup routines, and forced a composed exterior as she walked away feeling as if she were free-falling, steadying herself only by holding the pram and crossing when the light changed.